My mind has been running rampant lately, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel like I have so many things to do, but I don't. I have nothing to do but show up at my job 9-5. I actually used to make dinner at home. I actually used to hang out at home. I used to be creative, visit with my sister, visit with old friends. I think, Ive become missionized. I don't do anything really but hang out with my friends, and hang out in the mission. Its ridiculous. What happened to the days when I would hop the muni and go to the ocean. Or take a roadtrip to a random city. FUCK! I feel like Im clouded with things Im supposed to do, or an event Im supposed to attend. On this note I am finding it really difficult just to be. Just to sit. Just to read a book in the park. And for once have it not be Dolores. Im having a hard time concentrating at work. I get distracted from the simplest things. AH. Lame. Its annoying. Ive decided I either need to start getting super stoned in the beginning of the day, or start popping some pills. Neither of which sound very appealing to me.
I think I need a few days away. Alone. Clear my head. But where on earth to go? I was looking at random plane tickets. Its pretty cheap to go to Colorado right now. Maybe Ill do that.